Wishful Thinking
by Dr. Michaela Quinn
Summary: The way life would have been if Pearl Harbor wouldn't have happened for the Waltons.
1. Chad Proposes to Erin

The Waltons

*Wishful Thinking*

Erin Esther Walton is sitting on the front porch of the Walton house. She had a tear in her eye. Just then, a truck pulls up in front of her. Curtis "Curt" Willard steps out and walks over to her.

"What's wrong Erin?" Curt asks her. Erin gives him one of her nervous laughs.

"I'm just thinking about Mama, Curt. I still can't believe she's gone." Erin says holding her hankerchief.

"Just keep remembering your mama is getting better in that sanitorium." Curt says, Erin just nods because everybody has been telling her that.

"Is Mary Ellen inside?" Curt asks her. Erin nods at him. Curt walks in the front door and leaves Erin outside by herself. Jason, Mary Ellen, Ben, Cindy, Jim Bob, and John are in the kitchen. Elizabeth and John Curtis are listening to the radio in the living room. Curt walks over to Elizabeth.

"Cu-" Elizabeth starts to say before he motions for her to remain quiet.

"Can I get John Curtis?" He asks her in a whisper. Elizabeth stands up and hands John Curtis to Curt. Curt walks into the kitchen and sits next to Mary Ellen on the bench. She doesn't pay any attention to him at first although Jason, Ben, and John see him.

"Bye everybody. I need to go practice at the Dew Drop." Jason says waving quietly to Curt.

"Come on Ben, let's go work out in the mill." John says to his middle son. John, and Ben go outside heading towards the mill.

"I have a date with Patsy Brimmer." Jim Bob says walking out the back door in the kitchen.

"Bye Jim Bob." Elizabeth calls as he walks through the door.

"Come on Elizabeth. Let's go sit with Erin." Cindy says looking up at Curt. Elizabeth and Cindy walk out the front door and sit on the swing at the side of the porch. In the kitchen, Mary Ellen stands up to refill her cup with coffee. Curt is getting restless.

"I've been gone to Pearl Harbor for 6 months and you aren't even gonna talk to me?" Curt asks Mary Ellen. As soon as she hears his voice she whirls around.

"CURT!" Mary Ellen hollers hugging him tightly.

"I've missed you Mary Ellen." Curt says with a smile.

"I thought for sure that I'd lost you, on the radio they said that there were Japanese planes flying low over Pearl Harbor." Mary Ellen says in her worried tone.

"I'm fine. Just think, in 3 weeks you will be moving to Pearl Harbor and working with me again." Curt says.

"I can't wait." Mary Ellen says with a big Walton's smile.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Elizabeth and Cindy are just sitting outside on the swing enjoying the sun. Erin gasps and just starts sobbing. Cindy and Elizabeth run over to her.

"What's wrong, Erin?" Cindy asks putting her arm around her.

"I'm just upset about Mama. I miss her so much." Erin says trying not to cry. Elizabeth sits next to her on the steps.

"I miss Mama too Erin." Elizabeth says. Erin wipes her eyes with her hankerchief.

"I feel crazy crying at 18 over Mama." Erin says.

"Everybody cries, Erin. It's no big deal." Cindy says to her.

"Still, it just doesn't feel right." Erin says. Elizabeth hugs Erin.

"I still cry over Mama bein' gone Erin. I miss her because she is our only Mama." Elizabeth says. Erin just stares at Elizabeth.

"You are wise beyond your years Elizabeth." Erin says. Elizabeth gives her this confused look.

"Thank you?" Elizabeth responds. Erin laughs at the look on Elizabeth's face. Just then, Chad Marshall comes jumping up the steps to the Walton's house. Since he moved to the mountain 2 years ago he isn't very far from them.

"Chad is that you?" Erin asks him.

"Who else would it be Erin?" Chad asks her. John walks over to the house wondering who the young man is. When he puts his hand on Chad's arm and he turns around.

"Hi Chad!" John says.

"Mr. Walton.," Chad responds to him, "where's Mrs. Walton?"

"Elizabeth, help Erin inside the house." John says just watching Erin.

"I'll be okay, Daddy." Erin says.

"Are you sure?" John asks her. Erin nods at him, but Elizabeth still holds her a little bit.

"Mrs. Walton is in a sanitorium. That's a hospital for people with tuberculosis." John says.

"Oh boy." Chad replies.

"What'd you want here Chad?" Erin asks Chad with her arms folded.

"Erin, I know we talked when I first moved here about getting married and I was wondering if you would marry me now." Chad says.

"Now? I'm still in business school. I can't just leave." Erin says trying to protest.

"Sure you can. Come live with me in my cabin on the mountain. Be my wife. I'll support you." Chad says.

"Everybody stop, especially Chad; Livie won't want to hear this." John says. Just then Mary Ellen, Curt, and Grandma appear at the door.

"Phone, John." Grandma "Esther" says. John looks at her.

"Who is it, Ma?" John asks.

"It's Mama." Mary Ellen speaks up. Grandma just glares at Mary Ellen.

"Livie." Grandma finally says. John just looks at Erin, sighs, and then enters the living room, and picks the phone up off the counter.


	2. Erin Talks to Olivia

John walks over and takes the phone from Grandma.

"Hello Liv." John says into the phone. "I'm glad you called. I have a little dispute that we need to settle." John pauses and sighs. "Chad Marshall is here again and wants Erin to marry him again." John pauses while Olivia talks. "I know Liv. He wants her to quit school so they can be together up on the mountain. Okay, I'll let you talk to her." John looks at Erin.

"Daddy!" Erin says with a hurt look in her eyes.

"Erin, your mama wants to talk to you, now come take the phone and talk to her." John replies sternly handing Erin the phone. Erin sighs and then puts it up to her ear.

"Yes Mama?" Erin asks. "I know Mama… Mama, I love him. I don't want another chance to be taken up where I will lose him again. I am out of high school now… Oh Mama! I'm not doing too much at the school. I help more than I learn. I will be okay if I take off for a while when we get married." Erin says, obviously about to cry. "Mama, look; I have waited just like you asked. I am going to marry Chad whether you like it or not. When you come back to the mountain I will be Mrs. Chad Marshall. Good bye mama." Erin says laying the phone on the desk and running out.

"Erin!" Chad hollers, then he follows her out the door.

"Oh Ma, what has happened to her. She used to be so sensible. You know Erin will actually get married. She won't be afraid to." John says.

"I know… Oh boy." Grandma replies shaking her head. John walks over and picks up the phone off the desk.

"Liv? Are you okay?" John asks, and then pauses. "Now Liv, don't get yourself all worked up about this. Don't make yourself sick over it. Olivia, please; ma and I have this under control here… No, you are not coming home until you feel better. When the doctor says you can come home you are going to come home." John says. "Liv, I told you; I am taking care of the situation with Erin. Fine, go ahead and worry, but I am not bringing you back home to Walton's Mountain until the doctor says you're okay." John sighs. "Okay. I love you too Liv. Good bye." John says as he hangs up. "Liv wants to come home Ma, she says we need help taking care of Erin."

"We do!" Grandma replies.

"No we don't. You raised me and Ben without Liv, we can handle taking care of Erin." John replies.

"Livie her ma. Erin needs Livie." Grandma states.

"No, I am not bringing Olivia back here." John says walking away from Grandma. Grandma follows him. "She's not well yet Ma! If I bring her here it will start all over again!" John hollers.

"Not Livie to Erin. Erin to Livie." Grandma says.

"You think I should take Erin to go see Liv?" John asks.

"Yes." Grandma replies.

"Now, that's not a bad idea Ma! We'll get her suitcase packed and we will leave tomorrow after breakfast." John says hugging Grandma.

"Good." Grandma states.

**(On the mountain)**

"Did you really mean what you said to your mama, Erin? Do you really want to marry me?" Chad asks.

"Oh Chad, I want to marry you with everything in me. I love you, and want to spend the rest of my life with you on your land at the top of the mountain." Erin replies looking at him.

"Then let's not wait another minute. Let's go to Rockfish and get married!" Chad says.

"Do you really think this is the way to do it?" Erin asks.

"It's during the day now Erin. Nobody to wake up, no one sleeping during the service. It'll be just like you wanted." Chad replies.

"Okay. Let's do it!" Erin hollers.

"Yes!" Chad calls out grabbing Erin's hand and they run down the hills.


	3. Erin asks Rev Fordwick to marry her

Chad and Erin were sitting in the home of Reverend Fordwick. Rosemary Fordwick is sitting in a chair, with Reverend Fordwick standing next to her.

"You want me to marry you?" Reverend Fordwick asks Erin.

"Yes, you've been my minister as long as I can remember. I want you to perform the service for us. Please Reverend Fordwick." Erin pleas.

"What do your Mama and Daddy think about you two getting married?" Rosemary asks. Chad takes Erin's hand in his. They are both sitting on the couch across from the Fordwicks.

"My mama and daddy weren't too excited about the idea of us getting married, but they will get used to the idea after we've been married awhile." Erin says.

"Erin, I must tell you that I don't feel comfortable performing wedding nuptials for a person who doesn't have the consent of her family." Reverend Fordwick replies.

"Reverend Fordwick, I am eighteen years old and of consenting age. My mama and daddy can't tell me who I love or don't love; or who I can or can't marry. I love Chad, and he loves me. We are coming to you instead of somebody else because you've been part of my life for years, but if you don't want to do it than we will go into Rockfish." Erin says.

"Erin, I never said I won't perform the service. I just ask that you talk to your parents first." Reverend Fordwick replies.

"Okay, we will go talk to Daddy and see what he says." Erin says. She stands up. "Thank you." Erin walks out with Chad behind her.

"Oh Matthew, what are you going to do?" Rosemary asks him. He looks at her.

"I am going to give Erin today and tomorrow to talk to her father, and then I will go have a talk with him." He replies.

_Back at_ _the Walton House_

At dinner time everybody sits at the table.

"Who made the meal?" Jim Bob asks as he sits down.

"I did, with some help from Elizabeth." Cindy replies sitting down and putting a napkin in her lap.

"Do you really expect me to eat something that Elizabeth made?" Jim Bob asks.

"You'll eat whatever is put in front of you Jim Bob, now sit down and eat." John exclaims. Jim Bob sits down at the table.

"Where's Erin?" Ben asks.

"Daddy, have you talked to Mama lately?" Jason asks.

"Should I have talked to her Jason? Do you know something that I don't?" John asks his son.

"I was just wondering if you had talked to her Daddy." Jason says with a sigh. "Erin didn't come home last night, she hasn't been home since she and Chad stormed out of here a yesterday afternoon."

"I noticed that Jason. No, I haven't talked to your Mama; I didn't want to upset her." John says.

"Where do you think she could be Daddy?" Mary Ellen asks looking at John with a worried look on her face.

"Don't worry about her Mary Ellen. She'll be fine. She's all grown up now, if she wants to be out all hours that's her choice." John replies.

"Daddy, this isn't like you. What's going on? Are you sick?" Mary Ellen asks as she goes to stand up.

"Mary Ellen, sit down, I'll go take a look at John." Curt says.

"Neither of you need to take care of me." John replies.

"Curt, why don't you want Mary Ellen to stand up?" Elizabeth questions looking at her older sister. Everybody looks at Mary Ellen and Curt. Mary Ellen gets a sheepish look on her face.

"Daddy, do you remember how old John Boy was when Mama found out that she was expecting Jason?" Mary Ellen asks.

"I believe that John Boy was a little over a year old. Why do you ask?" John questions his oldest daughter. Mary Ellen gets a glow about her and a smile on her face.

"Daddy, I'm going to have another baby." Mary Ellen says. Everybody jumps up. Elizabeth stands up and runs over and hugs her sister.

"Oh Mary Ellen, congratulations!" Elizabeth squeals. Cindy rushes over and hugs her sister in law.

"This is wonderful news!" Cindy exclaims. John makes his way over to his daughter.

"You had best call your Mama and tell her about this right after supper." John says. Mary Ellen nods.

"I was going to Daddy." Mary Ellen says.

"Well come on everyone. Let's sit down, the food is getting cold." Cindy says.


	4. Erin Comes Home

**A/N: I am sorry it has been so long since I have written a chapter, but I have been pretty busy since August with my schooling and haven't had a chance to write much; but I plan to have this story completely finished by Easter. So if you will just bear with me as we follow the Walton clan. **

_**This chapter takes place several days after chapter three.**_

Saturday afternoon Jason, Cindy and Jim Bob are sitting in the living room with Elizabeth playing with John Curtis on the floor. Erin opens the front door and walks in. When she walks over to her family everybody's jaws drop.

"Erin?" Elizabeth asks from the floor. Erin looks down at her and laughs.

"Of course it's me Elizabeth. Who else could it be?" Erin asks. Jason stands up, walks over to her and folds his arms across his chest.

"You have had everybody worried sick Erin. Where have you been? Daddy has had the whole mountain looking for you!" Jason exclaims.

"I'm sorry Jason. Chad and I went into Charlottesville to get some supplies for the cabin, and then we just stayed there overnight because it was so late when we got there." Erin explains.

"Erin, that was three days ago." Cindy states standing up.

"I'm sorry! But what is this? I did nothing wrong! I went with my soon to be husband to get supplies for the house we are going to build. I do not have to be under Mama and Daddy's thumb anymore. I can be my own person." Erin says

"Nobody said you couldn't be your own person Erin, but worrying your family is a different story." Jason replies walking out of the living room and into the kitchen.

"Are you mad at me too Elizabeth?" Erin asks looking down at her little sister crossing her arms.

"I haven't decided yet. I mean you don't come home for days, you worry the entire family. Mama is a nervous wreck Erin! It seems as though you don't even care about anything anymore but yourself." Elizabeth exclaims.

"You all know that's not true!" Erin exclaims. She looks from Jason, who was standing at the stove getting a cup of coffee, to Cindy who was picking John Curtis up off the floor, to Elizabeth, who was standing up next to her. Nobody can look her in the face. "You all really do believe that." Erin says with disbelief and hurt in her eyes. "Where's Daddy?"

"He's out at the mill with Ben." Cindy says looking at the floor, but pointing towards the door.

"Is that where you all want me to go? You want me to leave?" Erin asks.

"We never said that Erin." Jason responds.

"It never came from your mouths, but your actions spoke loud and clear about how you feel about my marriage to Chad." Erin says and walks over to the door. She opens the door, but before going outside she turns to face them. "I love Chad. I am going to marry him. I am sorry that you all can't be happy for me, but that doesn't matter to me anymore." Erin walks through the door and slams it behind her. Erin starts crying before she even gets off the front porch. Her long, full brownish red hair falls in her face as she sobs. She runs from the house and when she gets halfway to the mill she has to stop and catch her breath. When she stops crying she finally walks the rest of the way to the mill. The machines are running so she knows that John and Ben won't be able to hear her. She leans up against the door and waits. After about five minutes John turns to get another piece of wood and realizes that Erin is standing there.

"Hello Erin." John says in his patient yet very tested voice.

"Hi Daddy." Erin replies pushing her face out of the way. Ben turns off mill and walks over to his older sister.

"Where have you been Erin? We've been worried sick about you! We have searched the entire mountain looking for you! We went up to Chad's land and there was no sign of you!" Ben hollers getting up towards Erin's face. She turns and starts crying again.

"Stop it Ben! Jason, Elizabeth and Cindy already gave me a talking to. I just want to explain my side of the story! Will you let me do that?" Erin asks through the tears.

"You have been gone for four days, not telling us where you have been and you want us to listen to your side of things?" Ben asks.

"Ben, go inside the house and call your Mama. Tell her that we found Erin." John says looking back and forth between his two children.

"But Daddy." Ben tries to protest.

"Ben, I told you to go inside and call her. I will talk to Erin. When I tell you to do something you do it." John exclaims.

"Yes sir." Ben throws down the towel he was wiping his hands on and walks towards the house.

"Where have you been? We had the whole mountain looking for you. The whole family, Ike, Corabeth, the Baldwins, Epp, everybody. Nobody could find you." John says. Erin looks at John like she is going to start crying again.

"Daddy, Chad and I went to Charlottesville to get some supplies so that we could start building the cabin. Chad told me that if I told you where I was going that you would try to stop us, and I want this more than anything." Erin states.

"Erin, why didn't you tell us? If you are this insistent on marrying Chad we wouldn't have tried to stop you. Your Mama and I were worried about you." John says.

"I know Daddy, but I didn't mean to worry anybody. I figured it wouldn't be any big deal." Erin states.

"Well it was. Why didn't you call or anything when you got to Charlottesville? Have you been in Charlottesville all this time? Are you already married to Chad?" John asks looking at Erin.

"No." Erin looks at the ground as she pauses. She wipes under her nose with her hand and then looks back up at him. "Chad wanted to, but I told him that I wanted my family to be there."

"Now you are making a little bit of sense. " John states.


	5. Chad, Erin, Olivia & John have a meeting

**A/N: Well my idea of wanting this story to be finished by Easter is down the tubes, but I have estimated there are only about four chapters left in this story including this one so hopefully it won't take me too long to finish the story.**

A few hours after Erin got home, John, Olivia, Erin and Chad are sitting in the living room of the Olivia's aunt Kate's house in Virginia Beach.

"So Chad, I see that we meet again." Olivia said with a smile.

"Yes ma'am. I am even more determined now than ever to marry your daughter." Chad replied.

"You do know that she's in business school right?" Olivia questioned. Chad nodded.

"Yes I do. And I'm not dissuading her to go to school. I encourage her to attend her classes and get her degree." Chad responded.

"It will make that a whole lot harder if she's married and has children, Chad." John exclaimed.

"John." Olivia scolded. Erin stood up.

"Daddy, you aren't here to try and discuss why I should or shouldn't get married. You just aren't going to let me do it at all, is that right?" Erin asked.

"I'm just worried about you Erin. In this world today you are going to need a college degree and it's too expensive for you to fail and not get that degree!" John raised his voice.

"I am not going to fail! Mary Ellen went to school when she had John Curtis." Erin said.

"I fought tooth and nail that she shouldn't be in school and raising a child. She wouldn't listen to me. She's too determined to do her own thing." John said.

"And if that's how I feel? I'm going to do this with or without your permission?" Erin asked. John looked at her with disappointment in his eyes, but hers were stern with determination in them.

"If you are positive that you and Chad are going to get married, than go right ahead and do that. But you do not have our blessing or our support on this marriage." Olivia said. Erin's jaw dropped.

"Mrs. Walton, I can assure you that we don't need your money, I have plenty of my own." Chad replied and looked at John. "I'm sure that you and Mrs. Walton would like to visit, so I will take Erin back to the mountain with me." John looked at him.

"You just remember Erin that you aren't married yet!" John exclaimed as they walked to the front door of the house, walked outside and closed the door behind them.

"Chad, I'm nervous. No matter what I've done in my life; I've always had my parents blessing. I feel kinda nervous not having it now." Erin said looking down at the ground.

"Erin, do you love me?" Chad asked. Erin looked up at him with slight tears in her eyes.

"Of course I do Chad! With my whole heart." Erin said.

"I love you too Erin. I want to marry you. That can get us through. We don't need blessings from anybody's parents." Chad replied. He kissed Erin and then got into his truck and they drove back to Walton's Mountain.


End file.
